Top Therapist Moments: Emotional Regulation, Shame & Self-Compassion

takeaways

1. A psychotherapist describes emotional stability using a 'weak ankle' analogy: if you recognise your vulnerability and look after it, you can avoid 'spraining' it through triggers like drink, drugs and unchecked projections.

2. Slowing down and recognising when you're becoming emotionally unstable — such as projecting assumptions about what others think of you — is discussed as a way to avoid spiralling into 'rabbit holes' of thought.

3. Shame is distinguished from guilt (guilt being 'I did something wrong' versus shame's 'I am wrong'), and is described as often originating in childhood and being passed on through our judgements of others.

4. Relationships are framed as a 'mirror' that shows us where we need healing, with the idea that being triggered by a partner can be treated as a gift and an opportunity to heal together.

5. A coach outlines steps from her book on 'coming home to self', including changing your relationship with thoughts rather than trying to get rid of them, and reclaiming attention, the body and a personal moral compass.

6. 'Coming home to self' is described as feeling more of all your feelings — joy and peace but also anxiety and fear — which is framed as a sign of progress, alongside the importance of allowing others to care for you.

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